Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
My balls are so social today.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
