whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
