i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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