I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
