Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
