it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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