we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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