Pappa wants mamma naked
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Randomize