My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
