okay pat passed out under dana's car
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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