Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I have aggressive nipples.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
