Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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