I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
