i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Randomize
