WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
