Sponge bath it is.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
