I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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