All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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