I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
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He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
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I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
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