Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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