...so i touched it.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
