He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
