chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize