u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Are we still banned from the library?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
