i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
