I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
