my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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