just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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