All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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