She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
