we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he puts the penis in happiness.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Shame - the story of my life.
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