Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
operation harelip BJ is a go
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Randomize
