When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
