see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
