Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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