Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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