He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
