He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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