Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Pants are for mortals
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
