she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
