why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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