420 ftw
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
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