Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I cockslap morals
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
