Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
