right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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