Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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