I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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