some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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