How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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