Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
