You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
