If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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