Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
