Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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