im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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