thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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