Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Randomize
