I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize