woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Hippo gnu deer
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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