just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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