Why are handjobs necessary in class?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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