All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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