I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize