where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
