We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
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