I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
