Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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