Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
NoShamevember. You game?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
