he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
